Keeping Me Humble

I have recently been labelled.  My title is Executive Director of Aggie's Arts.  This is the same role that I have been in since the beginning of Aggie's Arts... but it just seems bigger when you actually have the title.  Plus, in recent months, Aggie's Arts has made some major changes and has grown tremendously, so I really do have more responsibility than ever before.  I am a person who is comfortable in a crowd, comfortable in front of a crowd, and who enjoys being in charge.  Of course, these are good attributes for a leader... BUT I know they can also be an Achilles heel. 

For this reason, I recently began to pray for God to keep me humble.  Soak that in for a minute... I prayed for God to keep me humble.  What was I thinking?!  You know the old saying, "Be careful what you pray for!"  Today I can assure you that I was not prepared for God to answer this prayer.  In the past weeks, I have been humbled. 

A lot of this has involved Aggie's Arts things, but a lot of my lessons have also involved my family.  Today I reached my breaking point.  My oldest child, Mattie, has been having some serious problems getting along with her little brother, my youngest.  Through the past weeks I have tried and tried to help them work through issues, teach them to respect each other's space, and to love each other well.  It feels like we will take one step forward and two steps back.  This morning was awful. The yelling was crazy, and I had to break up several physical fights. 

By this afternoon, Mattie and I both were in tears.  I have to say that I'm not a person that cries a lot.  My sweet sister cries at everything... commercials, cards, you name it... she got all the crying genes!  Me, on the other hand... You can know that if I'm crying - I am broken... my heart is broken, my will is broken, I am broken.  Today I sat on Mattie's bed and cried as she cried.  I realized that I have failed her.  I have been trying to 'fix' her.  And I have neglected to pray.  I have neglected to involve our Father.  And He has Humbled me today!

Today I am bringing my focus back to Him to restore the brokenness in the relationship between Mattie and Isaiah, and to restore the brokenness in my life.  As much as it hurts and I do NOT like it... I am thankful for God keeping me humble.  I need reminders that it's not ME that gets things done... It's not ME that changes my children's hearts... It's only HIM that can do all these things and more.

www.aggiesarts.com